Sunday, 31 January 2010

How to ignore this pain?

My heart's just aching.... how do I make it stop???

Being secondary is just not nice....

~Second class citizen Xena~

Men are like kites....

Someone once told me, 'Men are like kites.... we have to let go, but when there are wondering about too far away, we have to pull them back'

Betul ke?

When we pull too strong, we are too controlling...
When we let go too long, they wonder about and give reason as to why they wonder around...

I am totally confused!

~confused Xena~

What a hectic weekend it has been!

Where shall I start???

Thursday - went to pick up my other half's relatives at LCCT. Quite a long wait, and then we hit to Putrajaya for lunch. After dinner, my other half had to send his cousin to meet up with her friend in Kajang. I couldn't follow as I had to babysit my kids as it was a school night.

Friday - I brought my other half's cousin to one teaching hospital, to settle and gather some information about her fellowship application. That took almost 1 day. That night, we meet up with our car group friends and as usual we got home around 1.30am.

Saturday - Brought the relatives to Jalan TAR, shopping! That was half a day... my other half was busy with his car group buddies. Oh ya, my brother's wife delivered her third girl this morning and we were suppose to visit her at the hospital. However, as both of us were too busy with other things, my sister in law has been discharged from the hospital before we managed to go to visit her in the hospital. So, we visited her at my mum's that night. Such an adorable baby.... so cute!

Sunday - my other half has to work this morning, so I took the opportunity to settle my laundry. Since the relatives came, my schedule has gone hay-wired! But I managed to fold all the cleaned clothes.... In the afternoon, we went to 1 Utama, to collect my hubby's watch. Too many people at 1 Utama, that we just went back after we had lunch and collected the watch. Went to my in law for a while and then back home. That night, my other half went to his TT session....

Today - Such a drag to go to office today. My other half is on leave today. Since both of us have been rather busy lately, we planned for a good massage during lunchtime. I was hoping for a good lunch together but when I meet him at our meeting place, he informed me that his car buddy ask him out later after the massage. Oh well, there goes my lunch date! Sabo je lah....

Ok la, I gotta go now. Have to settle some application and I will be shooting off to the Ministry office soon.


~tired but refreshed Xena~

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

My weekend has come!

Hehehe... tomorrow I am on leave, and Friday is a replacement leave at my office. At my current office, the practice is that if a public holiday falls on a Saturday, a replacement leave will be given the friday before. Great isn't it?

Tomorrow, my hubby's cousin and aunty are arriving from 'Seberang', so my hubby and I took leave, to fetch them from the airport. Can't wait to see them!

Gonna be a hectic and busy weekend....

~excited Xena~

Sunday, 24 January 2010

I am just tired....

Sigh…. Tired with all this…

I am an expressive person… I say what I think is right and what I think is wrong. Some people may not be able to accept this. But this is who I am. Either you take it or leave it.

It’s really quite frustrating when you have tried your very best to accommodate other people’s need and requirement, but yet it is still not enough. Maybe my best is not best enough? I don’t know how much more I must do because I think this is my limit already, this is my best already…...

I think I must shup up my bloody mouth… speak when spoken to, and don’t ever give my opinion no matter what! I think I will do that from now on…. People tend to misinterpretate whatever that comes out from my mouth so better shut up!

~A new Xena~

Saturday, 23 January 2010

Major changes in my life in 2010

2010 is a rather challenging year for me. My son is now in Standard 1 and we put him in the same school as his sister. Since two kids are in the same school, we thought that it would be best that I send them to school and pick them up from school. You see, my kid's school is on the way to my office. A lot of $ is saved by doing this because one kid will cost RM190/month for transportation, and babysitter cost will be approximately RM300/month!

The first 2 weeks was really challenging, as the kids are still unused to waking up early after 1.5 month of school holiday. But now I think all of us have gotten the hang of it.

In one way, it is tiring and a bit rushing. I need to ensure my work is done and finished on time as I need to leave the office sharp 5pm. Unlike last year, I can still hang around the office until 6.30pm. But in another way, I find that I am bonding with the kids even more now. Half hour to school, and half hour back from school in the car with them, I can catch up with their stories and chat with them. Then, as I reach home rather early, I also have the opportunity to cook dinner for the family, which I have not been doing for quite sometime. More $ are being saved here!!!! While cooking, I also have time to get my laundry done bit by bit, unlike previously where I can only do the laundry during the weekend. It's quite satisfactory actually!

On a separate note, I got head-huntered yesterday. Well, this is not the first time. Since I joined my current company, I think there were about 5-6 job opportunity that came to my doorstep, but I rejected all of it because of the location. I love my current office location, it's not that far from my kid's school, JJ is just 5 minutes away, KLCC 15 minutes away... and most importantly, the traffic to office is excellento! Secondly, this company which I am working with right now has always been my dream company. It's hard to move away from this place.

The head-hunter lady insisted that I try to at least go for the 1st interview, which at the end I decided, why not! Sigh... I don't know la... the offer is too great to pass, but the location of the office is Section 13 PJ. If I take this offer, my salary will increase by 20%, but I will lose the bonding time I have with my kids. And traveling to the office will be a bit of a stress factor in my life as for sure I will face the horrendous traffic jams! I have to think this carefully.....

~unsure Xena~

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Eeerrrrrr.......Why people like to 'cucuk'?

Can't help to be emotional about this topic, but MASJID BARU jokes are not funny!!!!

I simply don't understand. People just like to 'cucuk' others kan? Maybe it's trilling to see others fall apart.

Most of the time, one do something because of being challenged or dared by friends. But friends who are truly good friends won't dare or challenge or encourage another to do stupid things or things that are not right, right?

Don't know la... I am really, really pissed!

~really-really pissed Xena~

Hoping for the best today....

Today is my other half's birthday. Wished him Happy Birthday this morning and my son actually called his father using his newly bought handphone while on the way to school, just to wish his father Happy Birthday (see, how well I raise my son! ahaks!).

The plan today is to have a family dinner but haven't decided where yet. I hope things go on well today and that he will have a wonderful day today at work.

Happy Birthday Bang....


Monday, 18 January 2010

Today's scribble....

Alone at home...

My other half went out to repair my Blue Ladybug's rear left tyre. On the DUKE highway just now, on my way to pick up the kids, near Setiawangsa, my left side of the car made noice... Tang, Tang, Tang, Tang... then ketung! Like something just threw off the tyre. I panicked, and wanted to stop over by the road side, but there was no safe area to stop. So I carried on very slowly, hoping I find some good spot to stop over. Could not find any and ended up at my kid's school.

There, I realised that my tyre has gone flat! I don't know what I have drove onto, but definitely has caused the tyre to gone 'pancit'. While I was on the phone with my hubby (he adviced me to call AAM, which I almost did!), a guy came to me. A quite pleasent and decent guy. I thought he was one of the school staff. He said, 'Tayar pancit?'. I said, 'Ha ah... tadi kat DUKE Highway ada macam bunyi bising, tapi sekejap. I still carry on sebab tak de tempat sesuai nak berhenti.' 'Hmmm rosak rim tu nanti. Ada tyre spare?' Alamak! I wasn't sure where the spare tyre is located! I called my hubby again. 'Spare tyre kat mana ek?' My hubby explain where and by that time the guy was already jacking my car. I was soooo glad that guy was there. He was really, really helpful. I was feeling guilty as I did not help him a bit, well, what can I help? After he has finished the task, I could only thank him....thanked him a lot!!!! Whoever you are, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!

It shows that there are still good people in this world. I never thought I could come across to one. All these while, I only notices the bad guys... the people who have done unpleasant things in their lives, and it really made my day to actually see there is a good guy after all.

To be honest, I am feeling rather low because before I went back home, I had a chat with my good friend. She needed to talk so she called me. I really, really feel sorry for her because she is at the lowest moment now. She is having some problems and she doesn't know what to do. I can only hear her out as her problems are really-really deep, something that she must settle herself. I can give her simple advice and listen to her while she vent out her frustration but that is about all that I could do. I wish I could be more of a help to her, but I can't interfere with her problems too much. It's a delicate matter and I may not give the right advice to her.

I can't help thinking about her. I have never seen her so low before. For me, I get upset to see other people upset. May Allah give her strength to pull this through.....

~concerned Xena~

2010 so far....

It has been a while since I last wrote here. Been very-very busy lately, adjusting myself to the new year, a new circle of life…

What has happened so far?

Well, firstly, my son has entered a new era in his schooling life… Standard 1! I took leave on 4th, 5th and 6th, just to check on him and settle whatever I need to settle regarding school of my two kids. Before that, 1st and 2nd January, my son had his orientation days. It was ok as the kids were showed around the school, placed into temporary classes, took their placement test. After the placement test, the children were immediately segregated into their actual classes. My son is totally not like my daughter. Well, I guess, different kids have different level and their paces are not the same. I have to learn to accept that and not comparing my son with my daughter. I don’t expect him to be in the first class but I was a bit disappointed that he was in the third class. However, I did my mental evaluation about the situation, and realised that he is actually average, which is actually ok. So, I am ok about it.

During the 3 days of my leave, my hubby also took leave. Basically, we had the time to catch up with one another. I was rather happy with the whole thing because very seldom that we get the chance to be just the two of us… most of the time is always 4, 3 (me and kids) or more (with his car group geng!).

The second day of leave, 5th January, after sending the kids off to school, we didn’t know what to do. We drove around town just to kill time, as the kids were to be picked up around 3.30pm. Thinkg and thinking in the car, then it stroke us! Actually, we were looking for our standard 6 teacher, Ms. Srina for quite some time and during the school holidays; I managed to Googled her and found out that she is teaching in Sekolah Menengah Tinggi Setapak. We decided to meet her up at her school. It was really satisfying to be able to meet her after 25 years. She was very happy about it, and we took photos with her.

We will be arranging for a Re-union for our Standard 6 classmates soon and really can’t wait for that!

The week ends with no major events i.e. my son was ok with his new school and environment. But of course I have bribed him! I promised him that if he went to school like any good boy, then we will go for bowling that Sunday. So, you could guess what we did that Sunday lah!

My 2010 so far has been very hectic. My schedule has changed tremendously. Now I have to pick the kids from school every day, which mean that sharp 5pm I have to leave the office. This would also mean that I have to settle my work during office hours, unlike before; I tend to go back late to catch up with work. The thing is, during office hours there are a lot of interruptions from other departments, seeking my advice and consultation, leading to my own work being neglected. But I guess I have to learn to manage my time accordingly. This year also I will be preparing food for dinner instead of eating out as the kids get hungry once they are back from school. So far I have been doing well, but I hope I will maintain my sanity…. Hehehehehe…. God, give me strength….