Ordinary vs extraordinary

People tend to play safe and be ordinary, be the norm.  Being extra ordinary takes effort and people are just pemalas! Lagipun they worry of what other might think or say about them.  Biasalahkan, when you like to judge people, you think people are judging you all the time.  Like other people, my life is just a normal life...

I always tell myself that when I get married, I will not be the typical married couple.  I will try not to be the typical wife who nags at everything and control my hubby like those typical wives.  We will not be the typical pair that speaks in a rough manner, suami dok tengking-tengking and cakap kasar dgn bini just because they are the husband, bini dok marah-marah suami and cakap kasar-kasar dgn suami.  I imagine we will be madly in love mcm masa bercinta hingga kita mati.  How I am so wrong and so out of perspective!

Those days when I was a teenager and I see a couple round my age now, walking in town or shopping mall with the husband walking in front and the wife at the back.  I told myself, I wont be like this.  Wrong again Xena! According to the norm, once you have been married, husband and wife dont walk side by side holding hands.  Those who still do it are abnormal and not accepted socially because in the eyes of the society that is totally wrong to do so! We also not allowed to show affection in public, only when you are dating you are allowed to do so.

Dulu I don't believe that people can fall out of love but now I am doubting that... i think people can stop being in love or at least stop showing that they love you until one day they realise it is too late, and that is the time when you die.  Masa tu regret lah kan, macam-macam nak buat kalau boleh putar waktu kan? Hmmmm typical kan? Well, that is the price for being ordinary, for being normal...

Those day I always question, kenapa mesti berubah selepas kahwin, kenapa kemesraan kena bertukar? Questioning it pun dah kena marah because it is out of the norm to question things like this. The answer to my question always lead to the fact that itu memang lumrah alam, the norm.  Memang dah ditetapkan bahawa kemesraan akan pudar (tidak seperti waktu bercinta) selepas berkahwin dan kadar pengurangan kemesraan itu berkadar terus dengan bilangan tahun berkahwin.  Lebih lama lebih kurang kemesraan itu...

I have now accepted it, boleh menerimanya... Memang pedih tapi I have to face the reality.  What I thought before, is just a dream, a dream that will never be true.  It is just a ilusion planted to me via television, movies and love novels.  How I am so stupid to believe that I will be different than the norm...

~low Xena~
28 June 2014