Perception, prejudice, judgmental and assumption

If you can see, the title comprises of negative words. Well, it is normally used negatively in the real world.

Perception, what other see you as. What people think about you. We may do something but our surroundings, which may include your soulmate, will perceived it as something else. So do we behave to let people have a positive perception about you, or just be yourself? This has been a question that I ask myself again and again from those days till now. At times we try to behave to get positive perception by others but most of the time people will have negative perception first before can think rationally and see it from our angle. By that time it is too late. The impact of the negative perception has taken in place and can not be rectified just like that.

Prejudise, in my own terms is similar to mindset. Negative perception on a person will lead to a mindset. Once the mind has been set, all other actions done by that person becomes a negative thing, perceived as negative, leading to more and more negative perceptions.

Once we have negative perceptions, have mindsets, we tend to judge. Sometime assumption comes into the picture. People tend to just make their own thinking without having to verify what they think about the situation. Attempts to get a clearer picture is also misinterpreted as being confrontational and our culture does not like confrontation especially when the elder or 'above' person is being 'questioned'.

With this mixture, I question again, is it worthwhile thinking of what people think about us because no matter what we do people will see it as a negative thing? But then 'apa aku kesah' attitute is also seen a negative kan??? Hahahaha...

In a separate note, people nowadays tend to justify their wrong actions with so many reasons to make their wrongdoing as something right. In a situation where it is obvious what she is doing is wrong thing (e.g. Infedility), most of the time she will keep on justifying the reason she become like that e.g. because the husband does not pay attention to her, too busy or the husband is having an affair himself. When the surrounding people talk about her infidelity, she will then say that people have an negative perception on her. And because she feels like she has not done anything wrong, hence other people is wrong by talking bad about her. This type of person is in denial or refuse to admit their mistakes. They think that their doings are always right, that they do not do anything wrong as their wrongdoings are always justified. Most of the time this type of people are people who live in this world without values and principles.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that in:
1) Whatever we do we have to behave in such a way that our conscience is clear with good intentions.
2) People will always see us as doing something bad even if we have good intentions.
3) We have to hold on to life principles and to know what is right and what is wrong. A wrong thing is a wrong thing and nothing can change its status. A lie is a lie and there is no such thing as a 'bohong sunat'. Infidility is wrong and there is nothing right about 'main kayu tiga' and being 'curang'. Stealing or taking things that are not yours or not meant for you is wrong. There is nothing right about using your petrol card which your company give to you for your usage to fill up petrol in your spouse's car. There is nothing right about your relatives using mobile phone which was provided by the company to make long distance call.

Disclaimer: this is not meant to target anybody but merely a reminder for myself.

~tired Xena~
8 Ramadhan 2012

The thing that makes my heart sink...

You all ada tak when you all listen to a particular song at a particular time, tiba-tiba rasa sebak and nak jatuh air mata? Haaa Xena terasa cam gitu la jap tadi...

Today I got to know yet another case of 'multiple love', kecurangan, kasih beralih arah dan kemungkinan poligami...

All this while I only see it on telly... Then it happened to a good friend, then another case and another and another... Dah jadi macam trend la pulak, a norm... Yang sedihnya adalah pihak isteri yg pertama lah. Yang merampas tu idak le rasa apa sangat kan, tapi bagi yang haknya dikongsi tu la of courselah yang akan merana...

Kenapa mesti jadi gitu kan? Latest case is my own relative, my own flesh and blood... I just could not comprehend... Yang jantan tu tak kesian ke pada isterinya? Tak ke dia terpikir dia melukakan hati isterinya? Walaupun si isteri kata dia redha dan izinkan suaminya kahwin lain tak terpikir ke macam mana hancurnya hati sang isteri tu? Sesungguhnya Xena tak faham dan tak mungkin akan faham...

Yang third person tu pulak, tak ke pikir perasaan sang isteri? Desperate sangat ke? You are also a woman, you should know how the wife would feel. Tak terpikir ke merampas tu nanti satu hari akan dirampas? I simply do not understand...

Selalunya bila jadi gini, mulalah mencari alasan especially alasan berasaskan agama lah. Dirikan masjid lah, payung emas lah... Habis tu yg sebelum nak tambah pahala, curang kat isteri tu dapat pahala ke? Menipu isteri tak berdosa ke? Buat benda tak elok belakang isteri tu boleh diterima ke? For sure la ada dating kan... So kiranya buat dosa dulu peh tu cover balik dengan pahala dirikan masjid ek? Eeeee tak boleh nak terimalah!!!

Bila kita pertikaian macam ni, kita dilabel anti-poligami, anti-islam dan tak beragama. Orang perempuan juga dipersalahkan. That is always the case. Bila kata tak adil salah jugak tapi Xena tak nampak keadilannya disini. The best they would tell us, benefitnya is not now but during afterlife... Wallahualam....

Sakit otak memikirkan benda-benda remeh cam gini... And yang sedih is the wife especially the wife is so loyal to the husband....

Emmmmm alahai... Xena tak suka, tak suka, tak suka....

June - July 2012... Travelling tak sudah!

June and July were the months of travelling... I think I definitely put on a lot of weight these 2 months for sure!

End June I went to Beijing. Last minute my boss informed me that we had to attend the regional meeting hosted by our China counterpart. Yippie! Got the chance to climb the Great Wall of China. Beijing was nothing to shout about. Didn't like the people, people are rude there. Food also nothing great but we found a couple of muslim restaurant around town, so we had the chance to taste the local food. Great Wall of China was great but our colleague brought us to the wrong entrance. She brought us to the entrace whereby people need to take the cable car to go up. Unfortunately, Xena not as brave as what people perceived... me sooooo scared of cable car! My phobia... So ended up climbing the stair which took us about half hour to 45 minutes. Quite a challenge!!! Nasib baik mak pegi la jgk ke kelas si Riyo tu, if not pancit la jugak! But the climb was worthwhile... The view, undescribable!

A week after Beijing trip, I went to Bangkok, attending this meeting organised by regulators. That was kindda fun as my fellow regulatory friends also attending that meeting. So it was basically like a mini reunion plus mingling with the government officers, rubbing our shoulders... Bangkok, a shopping heaven, lead me having to change my currency a couple of times. Really, really made me broke!

Just as I reached home from Bangkok, the next day we took off to Sg Klah. This time is the GBB trip. The kids had tremendous fun. All day in the pool plus the Sg Bil unplanned picnic.

The weekend after that the GBB went to Penang for our last kopek makan trip before the fasting month start... That was really a trip testing our stomach tolerability!!! Unfortunately I didn't get my durian, which was a blessing actually... If not I think I would have burst of gluttony!!!

Next round of trip would be after raya... Cherating with the family and Chiangmai with GBB (yes, again!)...

Good luck Xena!